Tonight we light three candles PLUS the Shabbat candles! You light the Hanukkah candles first, and then the Shabbat candles.
Tonight’s focus is on Memories and how they can bring light into our lives. Memory holds a central place in Judaism because it connects us with our history, values, and identity. We remember how we got through dark times, and this gives us inspiration for how we can persevere now.
One of the most important books I read in rabbinic school was Zachor: Jewish History and Jewish Memory by Yosef Hayim Yerushalmi. Zachor, in Hebrew, means “remember.” He writes “ “Jews have lived within memory, rather than history.”
The political theorist Hannah Arendt notices that dark times are not rare, but that we have a “right to expect some illumination.” Arendt writes that this illumination comes from human beings who kindle a light with the way they live their lives. When we remember those people who illuminated our lives, it can light us up again and again.
“…Dark times.. are not only not new, they are no rarity in history…Even in the darkest of times, we have the right to expect some illumination, and that such illumination may well come less from theories and concepts than from the uncertain, flickering, and often weak light that some men and women, in their lives and their works, will kindle under almost all circumstances and shed over the time span that was given them on earth… Eyes so used to darkness as ours will hardly be able to tell whether their light was the light of a candle or that of a blazing sun.
Memory is a powerful thing. We can draw on good memories to help sustain us in challenging times.
Hannah Arendt suggests that the light of a single candle can be experienced as the “blazing sun.”
Memory and Resilience
Sharing memories can be profoundly healing, both for us and for those with whom we share them.
Take some time to remember previous Hanukkahs, people who made a difference in your life, or a time when you were filled with hope. And even remember how YOU walked through times of darkness and learned from them.
In this way, memories can light up the darkness. Marshall Duke talks about how stories among families can build resilience:
To explain the connection between story and resilience, the psychologists coined the term “intergenerational self.” It’s a sense that you’re part of something bigger, that your life is an episode in a larger narrative.
Marshall Duke, a professor at Emory University, who also happens to be Jewish, compared this idea to a bubbemeise, Yiddish for “grandmother’s tale.” In his family, Duke recounts, the grandmother will say, ” ‘You’re having trouble with math, kid? Let me tell you, your father had trouble with math. You don’t want to practice piano? Boy, your aunt Laura didn’t want to practice piano, either.’ Whatever problem the child has, the grandmother has a story for it—even if it’s made up!”
Remember that you can always make new memories. Some people create new family traditions when their memories are unpleasant or absent. Starting now, you can create something wonderful. If you have never lit Hanukkah candles before, maybe you can start this year.
What memories of Hanukkah celebrations impacted you and why?
What new memories are you making this year?
Memories From Our Community
My entire timeline on social media has been lit up by photos people are posting of their Hanukkiahs. Each one has a story. Some of the photos on this page are ones people permitted me to share here. The photos do not necessarily correspond with the quote from our Hineni Spiritual Community members.
My birth family sings Rock of Ages while the wind-up musical menorah played the tune in the background. We sang with full-throated, although off-keyed merriment. We knew all the words to the first stanza, not much in the second stanza, and a few more in the third stanza, but we somehow made it through all three stanzas finishing with an enthusiastic flare.
Linda Salzman
I remember lighting the Hanukkiah on the mantle of our fireplace.
Ter Lieberstein
My Dad’s last Hanukkah with us is one of many of my favorite memories. My family from Israel came in and joined us with guitars, singing & dancing to Hanukkah songs. We made & ate lots of latkes, played driedels, lit the beautiful menorah (that my parents brought back from Israel 25 years ago) which we always light at Hanukkah – a light that is eternal!
Susan Kronish Grotenstein
Hosting Hanukkah parties as my kids grew up and now with my grandchildren. Using my mother’s latke recipe (any recipe of hers!) always makes me feel closer to her now that she’s gone, and entertaining in her spirit as she taught me… to have a plentiful table, to be relaxed so that everyone feels at home, to have a job for anyone who asks, to have “a little something” for EVERY child, and to sing, dance and tell the story. Generations connected.
Shoshana Stombaugh
Here’s a sweet memory of lighting Hanukkah candles featuring our pup Bo for the third night of Hanukkah:
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