When we feel burdened by the injustice in the world or the trials in our own lives, it is important to remember: we always have a choice. We may not be in control of what happens, but we are in charge of how we respond. This is where our power lies.
In each moment or outrage, upset or shock, we can take a breath and ask: how can I respond in a way that is life-giving or healing? Or will I choose to react in a way that damages my soul or hurts others?
We always have a choice. I can reply to misunderstandings with apology, or views that are different than mine with curiosity. We can write knee-jerk tweets of anger, or say thank you to someone who taught us something.
Taking time out to refresh and renew ourselves in one way to build our capacity for pausing, and responding in more healthy ways. For example, on the Sabbath, whichever day you take, you stop creating and revel in the world as it is given.
Even (perhaps especially) in outrageous times, we desperately need this kind of time-out. When we take it, and get filled up by friends, family, a walk in the forest or being with a grandchild, our ability to choose the nurturing response grows.
As my teacher and mentor, Rabbi Lawrence Kushner writes, “The only thing truly within our power may be whether or not we will respond with arrogance or reverence.”
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Shabbat Shalom – May you have a day of peace –
Rabbi Jill
Thank you, again. I have been following you on Twitter, and love the way you deal with some of the negativity, without letting your beliefs, and character down. I should have read this news letter before I behaved badly and let myself be goaded into a nasty response to a nasty comment. I let myself down when I behave as badly as the person who got to me in the first place! It was bad enough that the person reported it, and now I must either delete it, or be silenced while I appeal it. How ugly of me to think those hurtful words make any difference to the causes I feel important! I must remember to rise above the comments of those I differ with, and ask myself these questions you’ve posed here before I respond either in text or speaking with people.
Dear Melanie, You must know that I wrote this because I, too, am so tempted to respond in kind, with snark or sarcasm to Twitter comments. In fact, even when I KNOW or strongly suspect someone is a bot or troll, I STILL feel like responding. So please know you are not alone. Maybe this is the gift (?) of this time we are in – so that those of us with the ability to be human, make mistakes, apologize and then do better – are strengthened. Please stay in touch and let me know what happens. So happy we are connected – let’s together bring more love and goodness into the world to combat the darkness. Rabbi Jill